Have a look at the user search metrics for PornHub, and you’ll see that “female domination” is solidly one of the top kinks among the site’s visitors. Now, as umbrella terms go, this one could keep you dry during Noah’s flood. It turns out that there are plenty – and I mean plenty – of ways that men enjoy submitting to women.
This goes well beyond the “traditional” BDSM into kinks like foot worship (which crosses over with the also-huge foot fetish), cuckolding (being made to watch as one’s wife or girlfriend has sex with other men), and a variety of other forms of power exchange. One of the more peculiar of these, which I want to cover in some depth today, is findom – Financial Domination.
WTF is Financial Domination?
If you haven’t heard of this fetish before, it’s going to sound weird and maybe even a little funny to you. But I promise you, guys, this is no laughing matter. Findom is a kind of female domination in which a man surrenders at least some control over his money to a financially dominant woman – a “findomme,” as she’s usually called.
The “finsub,” the submissive male, is totally serious about this (you have to be when money’s involved). On a variety of levels, he very much enjoys essentially giving his money away to his findomme, generally in response to a command (which has to be given with some context – we’ll get into that in a minute) or according to some rules they’ve established beforehand.
This can range from slipping the woman a bit of cash here and there, all the way to total and thorough financial domination.
Finsub men thoroughly enjoy giving their money to a dominant woman. Yes, it’s actually an erotic experience for them.
Of course, it isn’t enough for a woman in a findom relationship to simply bark “Give me money!” at a man. She may or may not literally do that, but when the man actually obeys and coughs up the cash, he needs to be getting something in return.
The psychology of a finsub, as with that of anyone in any kind of Dominance/submission relationship, is one that values power exchange.
This is a man who wants to give up control – sometimes because he’s sick of having it. Many finsubs are highly successful men with powerful positions in their professional lives. They call the shots every day, often finding that even they can’t escape their own authority. They HAVE to be the boss; surrendering their control just isn’t a realistic option.
Until this kind of relationship makes it one, and does so by allowing them to literally turn over one the biggest things making them so high and mighty: Their money. A good findomme knows how to make her finsubs FEEL the loss of mastery over their own finances. That feeling of subjugation, and of humiliation, is what the finsub craves.
Rules For FinSubs
If you’re thinking that an arrangement like this has to have rules in place, you’re (of course) absolutely right. Really, any kind of D/S relationship requires boundaries; it’s arguably even more important when the whole point is losing money. Generally, the finsub will enjoy having restrictions placed on his behavior – preferably financial restrictions, but often other kinds as well.
There will be expectations for how he is to conduct himself toward and perform proper worship of his findomme, with violations resulting in his having to pay cash as a punishment. And naturally, most findom couples will have at least some mutual idea of how much money is simply too much to demand, though two hardcore practitioners may choose to agree that no such value exists.
There are rules, even when you’re sucking money out of a willing and aroused submissive. Every findom relationship will have its unique boundaries that should be respected.
You’d think there are only so many ways for a man to give a woman money, but financial domination can actually take a surprising number of forms – and it’s developed an impressive terminology to match. All finsubs are not created equal. We have “paypigs,” who exist to pay a findomme’s bills for her.
Depending on the particulars of their relationship, she might simply snap a picture of her dinner check or the final receipt from her shopping spree at her favorite boutique, and send the image to her paypig, who forwards her the money.
There are also “human ATMs”, who get called up by the findomme whenever she decides she wants a few bucks, and are told an amount. Once upon a time, this type of finsub would then withdraw those funds from an actual ATM, then meet his findomme in person to hand it over.
The act of physically withdrawing money from an ATM, just to give it over to a femdom goddess can be extremely arousing and thrilling for human ATM fetishists.
Nowadays, most of these arrangements occur online, so he can just use Paypal. And of course, for those who don’t hold back and want the ultimate in financial domination, there is such a thing as a “moneyslave.” This kind of person isn’t considered just a “submissive” – he’s a slave, which BDSM enthusiasts consider to literally be next-level surrender.
A moneyslave may well give over all of his savings to his findomme, receiving an “allowance” in return, to live on. He works hard to earn lavish pay, but might subsist on ramen noodles like a college kid, while groveling to the woman in charge for a few dollars more of his own money.
While giving over your entire life’s savings to a dominant sex worker you barely know might sound slightly unsound in the judgment department, it can be extremely thrilling to a moneyslave.
As was just mentioned, modern findom relationships usually take place online, so the findommes need to know where to look. As you might imagine, this can be extremely lucrative for women from a monetary standpoint, but usually only if they can score enough finsubs for their financial man-harem.
To that end, many findommes make pretty good use of Twitter, attracting the right kinds of submissive guys by simply tweeting about the lifestyle.
This technique can work very well, but it usually requires that the woman using it already have a strong social media presence with a well-developed following. Alas, it’s not an effective strategy for those aspiring to enter this world; they have to build up their pool of potential finsubs first.
In practice, the best way to do this is by performing on a cam site. In an impressively short time, a good cam girl develops “regulars,” and regulars can be groomed for a variety of specific relationships. Women use cam sites to find sugar daddies, too, for example. In our case, we’re interested in finsubs.
Cam girls usually have excellent success by pairing up their camming presence with a Snapchat account (or Twitter) made to promote their social media presence as a sex worker. All they have to do is mention the account in their channel while camming, pointing out that it doesn’t cost anything to visit Snapchat.
Snapchat accounts can be a great way to “warm up” followers to start spending money on your financial domination services. Keep it free of nudity tho, Snapchat is not adult-friendly.
Guys on cam sites love free stuff even more than most people do, so they readily follow directions to check out the profile. This leads to the girl amassing followers on her Snapchat over time, and while those people are there, she can present herself to them in whatever way she likes.
Sometimes, cam girls use this to sell access to a “premium” Snapchat account with nudity and explicit content. You can use it to warm guys up to becoming your paypigs.
For reasons I don’t pretend to fully understand, Chaturbate has the lion’s share of “whales” (very big spenders) in the camming world, and many of these men are submissive. So I would recommend Chaturbate to aspiring findommes as the place to set up shop, and aim for the financial clouds. Best of luck draining those wallets, ladies!