Here’s something I’ve been waiting for pretty much all my life. The blessedly insane Japanese have created the world’s first virtual reality sex suit, and it looks like I’ll probably never leave the house again, once I get my hands on one of these masterpieces of perversion. As you may know, I’ve been obsessed with fantasy sex for quite some time. That’s really one of the reasons I got so into watching camgirls shake their booties on webcam. Nothing like cutting straight to the filthy fun, without any of the obnoxious complications that physical reality can drag into the picture, amirite?
I do a lot of lucid dreaming for this purpose, actually. And yes, I HAVE done the ol’ boogie woogie with Kim Kardashian in dreamland (let me tell you…a bit of a disappointment, to be honest). Now, though, guys will be able to go to funkytown with hot fantasy sex goddesses by just putting on this suit, slipping their ding-a-lings into the phallus holster, and activating the virtual reality scene they wish to play out. An anime girl pops up, ready to rock some digital casbah, and you can even squeeze her boobs by molesting a weird-looking breast groping component that rests over your midsection. The suit’s phallus socket then begins to pump the guy’s trouser champ and away to the races we go.
Now, obviously, I’m looking at this thing and thinking it can’t be terribly long before the suit is adapted for use in the webcamming universe. Can you imagine how much viewers would pay to knock the boots this way with their favorite webcam models? And I’ll definitely be using it, but I’ll be locked in an abandoned missile silo guarded by doberman pinchers and former Navy SEALs when I do. If anyone were to snap a picture of me in this contraption, I would take the largest shit known to mankind OR camlordkind.