Category Archives: Assorted Bullshit

Virtual Reality Sex Suit

Here’s something I’ve been waiting for pretty much all my life. The blessedly insane Japanese have created the world’s first virtual reality sex suit, and it looks like I’ll probably never leave the house again, once I get my hands on one of these masterpieces of perversion. As you may know, I’ve been obsessed with fantasy sex for quite some time. That’s really one of the reasons I got so into watching camgirls shake their booties on webcam. Nothing like cutting straight to the filthy fun, without any of the obnoxious complications that physical reality can drag into the picture, amirite?

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Bernie Spooks The Trump

Okay, I will admit to mildly wetting myself from uncontrolled laughter after seeing this GIF. Bernie Sanders shows up unannounced at a Donald Trump rally and screws with the billionaire presidential candidate’s speech. There are some seriously talented muddafackers out there on the interwebs. LMAO!

Boobs or Butts, People

A while back, Steven Suptic decided to do a “Boobs or Butts” challenge, and it was every bit as epic as the name naturally implies. Now, Steven has returned to again attempt to identify whether these closeups at Buzzfeed depict a set of boobs, an ass, or an “other.”

Let me just say that being the experienced bootyologist that I am (licensed in all 50 states and the District of Columbia), this challenge was exceedingly easy for this Camlord to pass. Steven, however, rocked the suckage rather badly, as he repeatedly misidentified boobs for butts, asses for titties, and even mistakenly took a mummy for a booty. Dear lord…and Cheesus wept.

Virtual Reality Porn Arrives

Okay people, it seems that virtual reality porn is about to make its debut, and I can barely keep my excitement to myself. This is going to be the hottest thing since the “Triple Kiss,” and it will probably revolutionize the way you, me, and everybody we know play with our private parts. You’ll be able to put this thingamajig on your head and pretend you’re some pornstar going at other pornstars with lustful abandon. At-home entertainment can’t get much better than that, right?

Take a look at this dude from Mashable trying out some of Naughty America’s initial load of VR porn offerings. After watching, I have to say, one of my first priorities when I get me an Oculus Rift VR headset in March will be to make sure nobody, and I mean NOBODY, ever catches a glimpse of me using the thing. Walking in on me masturbating is one thing, but walking in on me jerkin’ lil Buttler with a VR thingamadoodle on my head is probably something I’ll never be able to live down. Worse than that drunken “pegging” episode in Rio with the tranny who I mistakenly took for a …oh, nevermind.

Can’t wait to see how virtual reality will be implemented in the camming world. Should be interesting to have AmberCutie’s phat booty waving around in my face while the drool I produce flows like a river into my kitchen.

Mountain Vs Viper Reactions

So, if you saw the Game of Thrones episode “The Mountain and The Viper,” you know that the trial by combat scene was truly “mind-blowing,” in more ways than one. Oberyn Martell pretty much dominated the very well-fed and absurdly muscled Gregor Clegane, but was ultimately defeated by the psycho giant after making a careless mistake (never, and I mean NEVER, look for approving gazes from your girlfriend when you’re owning an opponent…especially if said opponent has the strength of 20 gorillas).

Having watched the scene something like 12 or 13 times now, I can honestly say that the only thing better than the scene itself, is watching other people react to the scene for the first time. This bar in Chicago hosts weekly Game of Thrones viewing parties, and the video above shows us how the patrons received the eye-popping spectacle. It’s a must see, trust me.

Porn Sex Vs Real Sex

I don’t think this video needs much commentary, but I will say that those peaches look damn good to me. Also, dipping the banana into the Nutella to represent anal boogie-woogie is making me lose my appetite for backroad explorations (at least temporarily). Good point about male penis size, although I really wish they could’ve left out “the chop” part.